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Global Warming: A Suggestion

The first week of January the Drudge Report was filled with weather reports, or perhaps I should say news of the effect of our current weather. For example, it reported that Indians living in the mountains of Peru are in danger of extinction because of the continuous cold weather. Babies and farm animals are dying from the cold.

There were other reports of serious problems also.

Siberian winds are bringing severely cold weather and snow to China serious affecting life for many Chinese. They are believed to be the coldest temperatures in forty years.

Continuous snow fall in Switzerland is causing avalanches. Several deaths have been reported.

Russia is experiencing heavy snow and temperatures well below freezing, causing problems in transportation as well as influencing living conditions.

Germany is having transportation problems, canceling commercial airline flights because of powerful cold winds and snow.

There are extreme cold weather warnings in England and Scotland

India has reported snow and cold resulting in numerous deaths. 

Here in the United States there is a blanket of cold. Weather warnings include temperatures as low as -30 degrees as far south as Kansas CityIowa has a continuous moan of temperatures ranging 30 degrees below normal and Vermont has had a record snow fall.

Worst of all, of international importance, Cumberland Furnace has had almost a week of temperatures in the low teens, never arising above freezing and making ten degrees one morning, with another week predicted and with no end in sight. 

I told my bride, thank God for global warming. Gore and his taxpayer supported disciples at the various universities must stop reducing it. Global warming is helping in reducing our heating bills right now. 

Still it is possible that the global warming people are right and this warming needs to be stopped. Perhaps our world is getting warmer. After all, Mr. Gore has said so. The current cold waves are simply a momentary reaction to global warming. Soon all of this snow and ice will be melted and our low lands will be flooded. San Francisco may be flooded. Pelosi’s Congressional District might be flooded. Horrors!

I don’t want to be an alarmist, but I fear that the cold weather we are having and the hundreds of people freezing to death across Europe and Asia might slow down the global warming concerns. My bride said I shouldn’t worry, but I do. Even though current efforts lack thought, global warming must be stopped!

Gore and his disciples are doing something extremely important, but they don’t seem to have the imagination to do the job properly. At least they aren’t exhibiting it. Instead of trying to destroy our economy and reduce the birthrate on this planet to control or accommodate global warming, they should concentrate on using their scientific expertise to increase or decrease, as necessary, the temperature on adjoining planets such as Venus and Mars. Certainly if they can control Earth’s temperatures they can control the temperatures on other planets. Then we can reduce our population problems by colonizing those newly habitable planets. 

I would even, reluctantly, permit Mr. Gore and the global warming people the privilege of being the first to go to these newly enriched planets. My son, however, thinks our Congress should be the first to go with President Obama leading the way. Either way, they appear to belong in space.

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