Posted by
William D. Dannenmaier on Sunday, August 22, 2010 9:20:11 AM
In the 1960s the University College of Washington University in St. Louis conducted short management programs for various companies. Experts on specific topics were employed to conduct these as necessary. Always, one of the UniversityCollege staff attended the seminars to audit the presentations.
One program employed Dr. Donald E. Bird from Stephens College in Columbia, Missouri, to speak on “Listening.” Receiving the auditing assignment, I was not impressed by either the subject or the college. Those were my mistakes. Instead of bored, I was impressed by the professor’s presentation. It was both interesting and meaningful. One example he gave was of a meeting between plant management and union officials to find solutions to some union concerns. When the day ended, the manager went home, content that the discussion would be continued the next day. In the morning he was shocked to find his plant closed and the workers on strike, even though he had been told that would happen unless there were some immediate agreements. He hadn’t listened.
I have never forgotten the importance of listening to what a person is saying. As Dr. Bird emphasized, there is a difference between hearing and listening!
This was brought to mind recently by our friend Joyce. Joyce had hip replacement surgery one day and two days later was to be released from the hospital. My bride had gone to pick her up and take her wherever she needed to go. There were problems getting her into a nursing home and her surgeon said he would not release her unless she had an approved place but that if she could not solve that she could just go home. He did not pay attention when Joyce’s sister told him that Joyce lived alone, several miles from town. The man would have released a woman who had just had major surgery, needed help to turn or sit up in bed to a home where there was no one available to help for such routine movements, much less for preparing meals and going to the bathroom.
I see Joyce’s problem, which was resolved, as a common problem of the patients of medical specialists. An incident at the Eye, Ear and Nose complex at the Barnes medical complex in St. Louis in the 1950’s was my introduction to this problem. A person in the complex for surgery on his sinus complained of constipation during his recovery period. No one listened. He died of an impacted colon.
My belief in this lack of listening by medical specialists has been reinforced by my experiences with heart specialists. There appear to be two types of heart specialists; those who limit their practices to major surgery and those who work with the diagnosis and treatment of lesser heart problems. At the time of my release from the hospital following surgery requiring five by-passes, I met with both the surgeon and the heart specialist who would oversee my recovery. I have vague memories of those meetings. I recall asking them what I could do, and their answers were “anything I thought I could do.” My bride says she tried to tell them that they shouldn’t say that to me, they should discuss activities I could and could not engage in. They didn’t, so I went home worked in the garden, lifted my ladders, cleaned the gutters and did other routine tasks. In the Cardiac Rehabilitation unit I was proud of the fact that the only person who could exceed me on the weight lifting, treadmill, bicycle and other exercises was a fifty nine year old whereas I was in my late seventies and had had five bypasses. The result of “doing anything I thought I could do” was a sternum separation. I complained, at two of our six month meetings to my heart doctor that my chest felt funny. He was busy and very dignified at such meetings, but ignored my concerns – if he had listened, my life might be different now.
I now have a different heart doctor, one who requires continuing tests and reviews the results carefully, but I note that if I try to bring up something important to me, he, typically, has a patient waiting.
In general, my experiences with specialists are that they are more interested in the organ than in the person. They don’t listen. The one exception to this has been Dr. Najjar, an endocrinologist to whom my daughter was referred by my GP. She carefully discussed the Megaera’s problem, potential solutions and potential problems with us. I appreciated that.
My experience with specialists is why I maintain, fiercely, my loyalty to my GP, Dr. Gary Smith. You may have a specific appointment and still wait in his office for a half an hour, but Gary always has time to listen to his patients, that way he uncovers problems that others have missed or ignored – and forwards his patients to appropriate specialists as necessary, as he did my daughter Megaera.
The problem of “listening” is not restricted to medical specialists. It is a problem we all have. Ask any adolescent after he or she has had an important, to them, conversation with a parent!