Posted by
William D. Dannenmaier on Monday, July 25, 2011 5:46:18 PM
Sheila attended a ladies luncheon yesterday. Quite a luncheon: she returned home after four o’clock! I was home alone for hours. Even worse, she did not bring a dessert home with her as she promised and my sugar count was running low. However, in her absence, I seized the opportunity to cut the grass in the front and back yards and scrape some paint that was peeling on the side of the house by the cliff. As long as the ladder was up, I cleaned those gutters also. She disapproves, and interferes, with such activities when the temperature is in the nineties and she is present.
Andrew and I have fungus infections from all of the humidity. Sheila e-mailed Dr. Smith asking if we needed to come in. He returned a reply saying to use a particular powder and see if that didn’t correct the problem. (I have noticed that Dr. Smith no longer needs to see me in his office as much as he did before the Connors, my source of fresh blueberries which I used to take him, died.) She claimed he also said I should stay indoors on the high temperature high humidity days. Of course, that depends on how you define “high temperature and high humidity.” However, I’m not sure he said that, she might have been inserting her own opinion of my activities while she was at her “luncheon.”
Speaking of office visits, Dr. Blazer’s office telephoned to cancel my Friday appointment. I commented to the caller that it was probably because I flirted with all of his attractive women assistants so much. She replied that, no, I was welcome to come in and flirt as much as I wished. One of the advantages of being in your eighties is that you can flirt with girls, a girl being any woman under forty, all you wish and you both enjoy it. They, your wife and their husbands know darned well that you are past the ability to provide any unpleasant consequences.
An interesting thing to consider in writing is how changing the phrasing of something can also change the connotation. Considering that this morning, I recall commenting to Dr. Gary Smith that I was one of his oldest patients. At the time, I was thinking of the fact that I began going to him before he started his independent practice. He replied, “In both ways,” referring of course to my age. Another way of saying the same thing would be to say that I was one of his oldest surviving patients. See what I mean about connotations?
I read an interesting article recently, if I recall correctly in the National Geographic. Persons in the far north have been attempting to tame foxes – to make them friendly to humans as are dogs. They would breed young foxes that were friendlier to humans to one another. In a very few generations, five or six, they had developed foxes which ran to humans and behaved just like friendly dogs. They also had interesting physical changes; one was that their tails curled upward, as do dogs, rather than straight back as do wild foxes. Another interesting change was in their ears. As each generation became tamer, their ears became rounder. Normal foxes, aggressive violent animals that they are, have pointed ears. I found that fascinating and have been paying attention. Has anyone other than me noticed that men; helpful, friendly, companionable creatures that we are have round ears while women tend to have pointed ears? I should note that Sheila wants me to show her my curly tail, but husbands have some privacy rights.
Even before watching ears, I have been taking a poll of husbands. I claim that all girls are sweet and pleasant up until the date of marriage, that when the ring goes on, the hammer comes down. As a downtrodden and abused husband I have experienced this first hand. To date, every married man I have interviewed has agreed with me.